School starts tomorrow, and I don't feel ready. We had half a week of training and orientation, but it's not the same as going to classes. Things I worry about:
I have my first-year exam on February 14. (Because that's how I want to spend my least favorite holiday: taking a five-hour exam.) Basically, I have to write three essays in five hours, and though I have the list of thirty possible questions (out of which I'll have six to choose from to write my three essays) and should be able to prepare for it, I just can't seem to make myself do the work. It's hanging over me, some great trepidation, but I haven't felt the urgency to do anything about it. So right now, it's just a stressor.
Couple that with the Intro to Graduate Studies course I have to take this semester, and it's going to be hell. The amount of work that will go into this class is mind-numbing, and I'll be lucky to make a B in it.
The bright spot for my course load is my fiction workshop with Jon Billman, which I'm sure will be a great experience. But I'm even stressed about that because I seem to be at a point in which I cannot write. I sit down to do it, and I have great ideas, but the words just don't come. I'll write a paragraph or two, hate it, and get stuck. Then I'll delete what I just wrote and stare at the screen some more. I don't believe in writer's block, but I sure feel blocked up.
Then I'm teaching a class that I've never taught before using books I've never used before. I'm not looking forward to reading twenty twelve-page research papers at the end of the semester.
And then I've started my new job as the Assistant Director of the Writing Center. Jeni, the other A.D., and I worked out the tutors' schedules yesterday afternoon, which wasn't nearly as difficult as I thought it would be. But we emailed the tentative schedule to the tutors, of course several of them had problems with when we'd scheduled them, even though we worked from the schedules they created which told us when they would be available. Overall, I think this new job will be a great experience, and I'm looking forward to it, but I've realized just how much work it is going to be.
So, yeah, I'm a bit stressed. A bit freaked out. Not ready for it to start up again.
But on the bright side. There may be new developments, but they haven't developed. I'll keep you posted when there's something to post.
2 comments:
If it makes you feel any better, I have been putting off working on my capstone project, even though it is ready to be written.
That makes me feel only slightly better. Now get off your ass and write your capstone.
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